Closer (2004): Review


“How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?” 

Fun fact: at the beginning of shooting Closer, Natalie Portman gave Julia Roberts a necklace that said “cunt”, thats the kind of film this is.

Vibrant, erotic and tragic, Closer is a stage to screen adaptation of Patrick Marber’s 90’s play centring around four immoral characters. Trying to define the generic story arch of this film involves a lot of “X was with Y but then cheated with Q who then met P who slept with Y” – so bare with me.

Dan (Jude Law), an obituaries writer falls in love with Alice (Natalie Portman) a high-spirited American living in London. A year later he meets and falls for Anna (Julia Roberts) a divorced photographer, who ends up marrying dermatologist, Larry (Clive Owen) with accidental help from Dan. Anna and Dan have an affair, which breaks up their current relationships, while Alice and Larry experience a saucy night in a downtown strip club. Anna then sleeps with Larry AGAIN, which results in Dan running back to Alice…

I know it sounds like a lame episode of Eastenders but its actually somewhat of an enticing and poetic film. These adults are terrible people, awful at life and cruel to each other – yet their hearts break and they blame nobody but one another. With melodramatic elements and theatrical dialogue, these four characters embody and mirror our own flaws and mistakes. It’s very easy to judge them as character development is kept to a minimum; we only see how they act and react in romantic relationships and never learn how they became these people. The L word is passed around nonchalantly and the dialogue is one of the most alluring facets of this movie; which reaches its highest point with an iconic scene between Larry and Anna, where he finds out about her infidelity and asks her that deal breaker question “did he make you come?”. Although in Closer, narrative and character communication predominantly revolves around sex – there is not one sex scene. This is something which I loved and think worked well for the movie, it made it rhythmical, rather than sleazy.

Portman is infatuating and Owen creates enthralling dynamics between himself and other characters, however, Roberts and Law are boring to watch together and only become exciting when they’re in a frame with Alice or Larry.

It’s uncomfortable, unconventional and a bitter script, so if you want to watch something that makes you feel slightly better about your own life choices – this is the movie for you…


Bridget Jones’s Baby: Review


Happy FORTY-THIRD Birthday to you! Yep, thats right, Bridget is 43, single and eating birthday cupcakes on her Jone’s; but thats not all that’s cooking in the oven…

I adored this film. When I first heard about the plot I thought “oh dear, that is going to be terrible”, and it was absolutely bonkers, but Bridget Jones is bonkers, so it works. You will be enthralled and swept off of your feet by two silver foxes – the famous Mr Darcy and a sexy, yoga-obsessed American. The bubbly brit is back and she’s fumbles and consumes even more wine that before – until she gets pregnant (spoiler alert). Bridget is just as relatable in this comeback movie as she was in the original stories. I refuse to believe that there is any woman out there who cannot relate to her; she is the epitome of a loveable fuck up. A free soul plodding along trying to find her prince, failing to notice that her mini skirt is tucked into her spotty knickers.

The plot begins with Bridget’s close friend and colleague, Miranda, attempting to spice up Bridget’s sex life. Miranda takes her to a music festival where she meets potential daddy number one; sexy yoga America man. Ed Sheeran also turns up on the scene. A few days after the steamy encounter in a teepee, Bridget falls into bed with Mr Darcy – who is as grumpy but charming as ever (potential daddy number two). The plot unwinds as the three characters struggle through the long wait of discovering who the biological father is. Although, heated and melodramatic at times, Bridget Jones’s Baby is still fuelled by British wit and Renee Zellweger’s charm and flair of depicting this iconic female character. All the supporting roles are hilarious and contribute to the resurrection of this classic British rom-com, in particular Bridget’s new boss; a hipster with an attitude who “drinks cocktails from a jar”.

Regardless of a few modern details within the movie, the aesthetic still remained as an early 2000 portrayal of London; grey sky’s, Bridget’s small dusty apartment, nostalgic soundtrack. Perfection.

I love a British rom-com! What did you think of the new Bridget Jones?